Sometimes I just write Because I want to talk to somebody when no one is available to share that energy and spiritual connectedness I crave.
And so I create that for myself best I know how…I soon end up with pages and pages, whether it be handwritten letters I never send, blog posts, long texts to someone I feel close to…
I end up just talking with myself and getting carried away- and when it’s all said and done and I step back and realize “This warrants no response” I wind up discovering years later letters to people I wrote to, sometimes just the pages torn out and stuffed away, other times sealed up, addressed, and stamped-
I don’t usually ever open them again.
They are sealed up and no longer mine to open anymore, so either I give you a letter that I have no recollection of writing and you time travel to go sit with a different version of Resa who I don’t know now, but who needed that chat with you, no matter when/if it got to you. Even if it took that long, you were there then, you just didn’t know it until now, reading back.
Letters that don’t exist can’t be missed…. they did once, but nobody knows to remember and so they have no choice but to forget.
I forget too, so for me it’s like I did have that chat, and I shared what I wanted to share and I found what I needed to find, and it doesn’t really matter how or when or why. The person I wrote to was there for me without ever knowing it, and that person, you saved me for that moment and gave me what I needed to be okay enough to keep going.
I’ve learned I’m never alone, there’s just a glitch in the timeline. You were there back then, nobody showed you you existed in this spot at that time in a different form so how could you know?
Sometimes it’s cool to send out those letters, I wonder how you, the recipient, are interacting with the girl who wrote whatever it was back then, does it matter now?
Nah. It doesn’t.
Just kinda cool to see you existed in the past and are just finding out about it lol. #Imanerd
This is what i mean, I write and I go deep into whatever that conversation might be with whoever I am sharing it with at that time.
This quote made me think about all that.
And the fact that one of those letters I had addressed, stamped, and sealed up resurfaced- I wonder whats inside but I don’t care to see.
The address alone reveals that over a year ago, but most likely a few years back, this was sealed up ready to mail off.
I’ll have to put this one in your hands, the address won’t find you there anymore. I’ll help intercept the time traveling letter so it gets to the new location and the present you, no worries.
“How very weird,” you might think to yourself
But in Resa Land weird is what is and what always will be.
It’s all that is known, it’s just the way that we are,
and will forever be the root, planted seed.
It’s misunderstood by those standing outside,
Peering into something that’s seen,
Unsure of what-who-why-how to ask it at all
Afraid to ask exactly for what they need.
I understand my way’s different,
We notice first that not in line,
Comprehending mine are zigzags
And you fall not in front nor behind.
Few decide they’ll step inside,
Most just create some new story,
And they share this in time,
Twists and turns into just knots
That gets passed down to who’s next in line,
The stories they change
And they mold to the crowd
They point and they judge
And they say things out loud,
But still then just a few,
Who want to know what is true,
They step into that place,
To explore it as new.
And some find it’s too jagged,
By looks alone discomfort will show
And they step right back outside
Into the world that they already know.
A handful are curious
And they’re searching to find,
That they’re not content not knowing,
And don’t want to stay blind.
So they stand beside.us, together,
And realize they belong
A part of one or both sides, no matter,
They want to hear our song,
And the melody, it’s inviting,
And if you let yourself feel it in the soul,
You no longer see it to be broken,
Rather unique pieces make it whole.
So it matters where you’re looking from,
That depends on what you will see,
You can watch and tell of stories that you hear
Or can walk in and have your own, for free.
Regardless of what you decide to do,
And no matter who you were before,
When you walk in my world you’ll find in time,
Exactly what you start searching for.
Perhaps you search no further but for
Justified reasons for only a straight line
If that’s all you’re open to locate, son,
I already know what you’ll see,
If a straight line is only the good that there is,
You will find such a hate for zigzags in no time!
No matter your reason for being here,
Be it to judge or a search for what might be new,
Try just to open your eyes as you walk about,
If seeing is what you’re intending to do.
All are welcome in our world you call strange,
No matter the intentions for visiting too,
I pray you find what you need in your journey,
With open or closed eyes, it’s all up to you.
If you’re walking in blind I will warn you,
You might bump into things that are here,
Blame and curse our world for your ignorance,
Much easier to blame the surroundings,
‘Cause it’s more comfortable than admit to fear.
Pride isn’t something we have a need for,
We all stand equal and fight side by side
Acceptance and love are the fuel we survive in,
And our fears we have no need now to hide.
Not one of us is unbroken
Displaying our scarred breaks with no shame,
Each tells of a story of our lessons we’ve learned
All so different but while also the same.
“Poetical nonsense of fairytale worlds”
Muffled nearly lost in the chatter but heard,
Eager to judge with no prompt but his own
Trapped and scared with no safe place assured.
It makes sense to look just outward
When in a fairytale self-imposed but can’t see,
Using gizmos and gadgets he can’t go without,
Lost in the lights of the colored TV—
You’ have a place to be if you decide to,
A battered soul can see yours of same hues,
You belong, don’t feel you are alone now,
You’re not, no matter what you will choose.
if you decide you will stay, you are welcomed,
Know our pasts don’t define us today,
They’re instead jagged pieces we carry,
That allow us to fit perfect in our exact way.
I hold my head high with contentment
The sun thanks me by kissing my face,
And I feel that fire ignited and burning inside,
I could imagine no happier place,
As I dance alongside the trees in the wind,
Engulfed by a familiar peaceful delight,
I sing along, Mother Earth and her melody,
Tune by day and full song by night.
I become one with the energy surrounding,
The shadows dance behind just out of sight,
Somehow here I know it will be okay
Because I know it’s already all right.
So no matter of you, curiosity and skeptics all ’round,
You are always a part with your whole waiting here,
Just know there is no pointing to tear down,
We acknowledge and own up our fear.
If you’re looking to find me in my forever,
Siempre, I’ll be just right through this door,
Peer through my weird little window of mystery
Or come on inside through the left-open door.
“How very strange she is indeed,”
Your thoughts about me are not mine,
You own and shape those as you see fit,
I promise you I don’t mind.
For once upon a time before,
I was trapped and lost with no hope
I too thought I could only choose that straight line
Or the other straight option I saw was straight Rope.
And I found as I pondered which
Of these only two might be better,
As I looked up I saw what I’d done,
I’d twisted the rope and it seemed better!
I tied it in knots, that no one could undo,
And I left it there in hopes that
It might save someone else too.
In time though you’ll understand,
If you’re on my side of the door,
Look through that crazy little window out,
The twisted knotted rope leads right to my door!
I see it each time I look back out to that past,
And remember feeling I couldn’t truly be,
And that rope is proof that is far from true,
I always was and am forever THE BEST FUCKING ME THAT I KNEW!
And I bid farewell to you my friends,
A Journey to Resa Land I shall ensue
Where there’s always unknowns waiting to explore
Zig zagged and jaggedy only better with YOU.