I know there are some people in my life going through some tough times right now. Some are struggling with things I know of and others of you are struggling and I may not even know it. Still others I can feel but can not identify.
I felt powerless today- for many reasons but a huge part being not knowing how to best help people I care deeply about or help lift the weights and heartaches that seemed to drop from the sky all at once.
All painful but for various reasons, originating from different directions, different individuals, separate things,.. each sharing heartache and hurt.
Today was a hard day-
Am I hurting? Heck yes, but at different levels and for different less intense reasons than others, even though all were blindsided by the same devastation, our individual experiences and ties to that were very unique to each individual and weigh very different on our pain indexes. I carry what is nowhere near heavy when looking at some others who are weighed down completely
I will say for me, my helpless feelings worsened by the fact that people I care for are broken deeply and I had no relief to offer. I was as vacant as a church parking lot in Helena one minute past noon on a Sunday. (Ha! Jokes!)
No one can take away your pain for you, and that sucks. I know a lot of people would if they could because you’re cared for deeply by more than you realize.
I’m not here to tell you solutions, nor am I here for a specific person or for a certain event-
I’m not going to tell you cliché sayings about healing or exchange formalities or niceties that are often thrown around during hard times-
You and I both know those words often are empty and routine and we don’t really care at all in the moment despite whatever robotic response we rattle off of our appreciation in the moment. That’s the least of our concerns then- and maybe later it helps in retrospect, but in the midst of your storm, you’re not at all worried about anyone calling with positive messages about how you’ll make it out-
Seriously Karen? My frackin’ boat is about to sink and I’m stuck in a hurricane with no land in sight nor foreseeable recoil of the angry, choppy, stabbing sea – calmness isn’t a realistic image I can imagine just yet,..
What’s that? Oh, you want me to focus on your family photo and inspirational message under your perfect beach snapshot about how great things are or will be?
Absolutely, hold on and let me completely abandon trying to hold on and not capsize because trying to survive to stop and listen to how it’s going to be wonderful and a story from ten years ago that has no merit and is the farthest from remotely touching near what I’m going through right now.
Karen? Sorry I’m losing connection I liked your photo already… I gotta go possibly drown and ride into this vortex to dark abyss. There were two photos? I only saw one, Karen- a double rainb- I don’t have time right now. I’m not meaning to be rude, yes, I’ll pray for your potluck-no problem. I probably won’t make it to it this time. And you hung up, lovely…- THAT WAS SUPER HELPFUL STUFF, KAREN.
That was an extreme exaggeration, which is unfair maybe… just trying to get a possible giggle in the midst of all the seriousness.
Are the thoughts and messages we get helpful, supportive, … sure,..
Are they all “real” or genuine— absolutely not.
Are these things helpful eventually?
Sure, maybe— but not right now.
Right now none of that matters nor is helpful because it is not available now to help save you from drowning, so it can be frustrating.
Some of you I know why because I was there when the sky fell down, I see you….
others I’ve talked to and you’ve shared with me your hurt,.. I hear you…
and then still I know you reading this too are hurting, and I feel you…
You are hurting, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. But no one that says you aren’t allowed to feel. If they did, send them to me. 👊
Right now it’s not okay…
and that’s okay.
I love you, whether we are close or not at all so- you are loved.
Even when it feels overwhelmingly so,
you are not alone.
I care about you, your well-being, and your best interests.
I found these little quotes that are simply truths I adored and wanted to share with all of you who are not all right and need that to be all right.
And the link below is a song I’ve often used in my personal life as well as with loved ones and clients across the decades that always seems to offer each listening ear exactly what they need in that moment. ❤️ Take a listen.
P.S. You. Are. Enough.