One still-pose will provide consistency and show you whatever angle it is you choose to see….

Consistent change and movement will allow you to better understand all angles, and you control the elevation, distance, depth, lighting, every alteration you can create- more angles to see… More lenses to look through at the same thing, each time something very different.

Hmm…..

I think I’m looking in a fun-house mirror currently. Distorted, yet somehow still the original idea and focus inside… it’s just difficult to see it for what it’s supposed to be, stared at the distortion too long!

Had some thoughts on my drive from work today… About writing self-help style books but in an altered state of mind (substance-free) from two individuals (or more) who are passionate about and known well for their spirituality, mindfulness, self-awareness, positivity, and ability to find the good and peace and serenity in most moments and stay there…. Make there be a factor thrown in to which they are now grumpy or unable to gather complete relevant thoughts as they’re used to, and hear the mindfulness gurus spit some jarbled TRUTHS with zero filters, and occasionally incomplete sentences,… sometimes even just a random abandoned word, even. Figure it out along with these spiritual journey enthusiasts, if you can decipher what they’re even trying to tell us…. Something like that would be the “ABOUT” section haha

That would be a bad ass book and I’m already into like self-help books and do a lot of self reflection and self work but I can’t say that I just like walk into a bookstore and I’m like oh how to help myself keep my house clean how to help myself become more spiritual I’m not gonna say those books like reached out to me and I’m like oh yeah I totally want to read that that sounds exciting and entertaining and like something I just really really really want to dive into, now I just have to force myself to and convince myself why I should continue or start in the first place.

Hell Eckhart Tolle the power of now that book freaking change my whole life like tremendously made me an entirely different human being but it took me about six times I guess restarting and rereading over and over and over again because I found myself initially and consistently judging the words or forming preconceived notion‘s of you know doubt and I have to talk myself back into this mantra almost of no Resa you want this you want this do you want this it was pretty frustrating but man once I got it I got it come to think of it I’m not sure if I ever completely finished reading the power of now surely I did though who is so long I guess but I can honestly say the part that I remember that stands out the most her that I use in therapy very often exist in the first half of the book I should really comb back through the second half to see if I finished it, what would that be? Ten years ago now?

Enlightened Spirits and their Journeys/Reflections Into Serenity, Spirituality, Happiness, and Fulfillment, Recorded and Shared Through Blurred Visions, Grumpiness, Zero Filters, and Nowhere Near Full Brain Functioning Capacity due to Sleep Deprivation. The Tales of Truth and Life Purpose-Secrets of the Visible Truth You Believe Is Invisible. TALKS AND DISCOVERIES TO FOREVER CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AND EASE YOUR SPIRIT Shared through  Blubbering Cycles of Uncensored, Indiscrete, Profanity-Filled Pessimism and Insanity.  Uncover the secrets to fulfillment and purpose you’ve always contained— easily laid out in front of you by these gurus…. Dive In and Discover the  truths,… 

Maybe?

OK so I’m pretty sure yeah I would love to create with the like-minded individuals who’s life is been changed and which would make it different than any other self-help book and quite interesting For the reader if you ask me is that needs 2 individuals having this conversation or writing this book and a delirious or sleep deprived state of mine so they’re grumpy as hell using excessive profanities and their conversation it’s just awkward a mixture of very professional well thought out complete sentences and fragments accompanied by a random occasional word that got left behind or maybe was a thought that turned into nothing and wasn’t meant to be said allowed anyway

I’m off to a great start for this book introduction as one of the respectable and inspirational authors… who, ya know, is so into The Power of Now and has created a lot of therapy surrounding these teachings BUT the intro for me, (if I do ashamedly find out I don’t recall finishing the book I preach from, so to speak;.. yeah, it’d be like:)

She is known for her ability to take anyone out of not-existing and place them back in the NOW, the one true moment that is REAL… Inspired and changed forever by Eckhart Tolle and his well-known The Power of Now,… (BUT ONLY THE FIRST HALF NOT THE LAST FOUR CHAPTERS, JUST THESE SPECIFIC PAGES) 

“That book took me five times to restart before being able to convince myself I WANTED THIS and fighting against my mind to stop judging and eventually completely detaching while reading,… That’s when it finally made sense, was when I stopped trying to analyze, think about, or focus on meaning or deep reflection… That book doesn’t work that way- Eventually I GOT IT and having been one of those people who didn’t think it was real, and if so it was in no way possible to actually achieve at a constant,…. The Noise Upstairs as I refer to it in my therapy gtoups and sessions. 

I often encounter those who think they know BEYOND TREATMENT AND APPROACHES and somehow have a 1-Up on everyone else because “They KNOW that it’s said to be possible and will play into it, but they KNOW it’s actually NOT possible to consistently exhibit or exist at a level of stillness in one’s mind….

I was, at one point of another, probably one of those assholes who thought :Yah, I totes GOT IT, but like wink wink it’s BULLSHIT and we all know this…. Don’t we? NO YOU’RE THE LIAR!  I’M THE MOST OPEN MINDED ACCEPTING INDIVIDUAL——

Dude, I actually had that conversation with a confrontational and judgmental client of mine who is a near direct copy of me EXACTLY 10 years ago, in male form. And sometimes I wish I could say YO DUDE YOU THINK YOU’RE SO OPEN MINDED AND SPIRITUAL AND SHIT BUT YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW CLOSE-MINDED YOU ARE AND THE FACT THAT IT MAKES YOU ANGRY FOR THAT TO EVEN BE SUGGESTED OR IMPLIED VALIDATES MORE THAN YOU REALIZE…. AND IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH GROWTH YOU’RE CAPABLE OF AND THE CONTINUOUS JOURNEY YOU’LL GLADLY WANDER DOWN EXPLORING ONCE YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR THIRST FOR ABSORBING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FROM EVERY EXPERIENCE AND EVERY PERSON…

Seeing differences as STRENGTHS in others rather than this assumption that you’re right and all others are IGNORANT due to their political parities, religions, culture,…. (Totally examples I heard from my mini-male-me’s mouth today) 

I can’t speak on anyone else, but for me in my 20’s it wasn’t about really WANTING to be open minded and spiritual and mindful— I don’t know if I can quite certainly say that I even understood what each of these things were to a level deep enough to understand why I’d need to be or want them. PSH,…. I was the most tolerant, accepting, nonjudgmental, open-minded person you would ever meet! 

Unless you tell me I’m close-minded because then I probably will get offended and upset and judge how much YOU DON’T KNOW ME OR UNDERSTAND ME

Me, me, me, me….. For sure in my 20’s, even my mid-twenties when I first recognized how much transformation I’d undergone and how much improvement I’d made and seeing HOW CLOSE-MINDED I WAS…

And all of those things were true and real, but I didn’t see past that.  I WAS OPEN-MINDED. I WAS THE GREATEST PEACE GURU LOVE-PROMOTING AND ACCEPTING PERSON ANY OF MY FRIENDS WOULD KNOW.

It was all about me.

Took me a lot of slaps upside the head and hearing things I DIDN’T CARE TO HEAR, but sparking the bulb I had existing without understanding a light within could ignite…. I LISTENED NOT WITH HATRED, CLOSE-MINDEDNESS, RESISTANCE, JUSTIFICATION, OR PRIDE/EGO DEFENSES UP…

     It’s when I listened willingly and WANTED TO KNOW the truths, willing and eager to see the ugly broken fragmented pieces of myself that I once was defensive to discussing or admitting existed, and too prideful to own….

I finally began WANTING to search and explore those character defects…. 

Initially hurtful to hear, eventually accepted, then owned, and now confronted and called out by myself, but by those who will show me the ugliest mess that I am the source of creating, and hold me accountable to owning up to creating such disaster. 

Those people are rare, and not mean, but rather, I hold close the very few TRUE friends I have who.I know value and respect who I am, all pieces, my opinions and advice, experience, and insight… but they also are not the fake friends who only show you the good stuff and deflect and continue to allow you to live in denial knowing that it’s detrimental to your overall well being, growth, success, and happiness overall.  TRUE FRIENDS will tell you those TRUTHS, even when It stings, but only with intentions of helping you to work through the aches to become your strongest self.

It’s like you injure yourself, break a bone maybe, and the nest recommendation for full range motion and complete recovery is physical therapy.

Bullshit friends will feed into your excuses as to why it’s too hard today or you can’t do it, and let you neglect doing the difficult things, they’re about instant gratification and being around you when you’re uP…. 

Let me know if any of those mother fuckers stand beside you for the long-haul and if they do, are they watching or pretending not yo notice the struggle points for you? Because if you’re uncomfortable they’re uncomfortable? That’s okay, but look carefully at which company you push outside,… often times the This is Right Now Right that looks and sounds so good and all we want…. 

    Anyone must be a fool to want to see it any different than that, right?  THIS IS RIGHT-NOW RIGHT.

They’ll Never even choose to try and look fo anything else,… what’s the point? They’re content and feel they know all they can– seeing Right-Now they imagine this is the perfect NOW-centered way to be and that they have mastered and figured out the “best way:….
Some perhaps are more aware to the point of being ready to settle there, content with what they have, where they have it, as they have it, and are exhausted of journeying into themselves and their own truths.
Still others are convinced that now they own the truths and the rest of those ignorant poor lost souls maybe will one day find what they found…

At one point in time, as much as I hate to admit to that cringe thought, that was TOTALLY ME…. Prideful thinking POOR EVERYONE ELSE THEY CAN’T SEE THE TRUTH AND THE ANSWERS….
Thinking my silence and acceptance of others was me being open-minded fully… all while internally judging and feeling sad for others… thinking THAT WAS HUMBLING AND ENLIGHTENED AND OPEN-MINDED…. Not for one second looking in the mirror and reflecting on ALL pieces of the glass reflections… including the piece where I am STILL internally believing I’, better or right or whatever…..

Years later I recognized that every time I THINK I’m open-minded I BETTER DO SOME SOUL-SEARCHING…. I constantly find ways in which I continue to judge words, things, people, ideas, without realizing I’m doing so- self-created images and ideas of topics or words that I only know through what I’ve been told and my story but never living in theirs and understanding through life– just ASSUMING I UNDERSTAND. Hogwash.

I try really hard today to see through a different lens… a lens of growth and self-reflection/internal-work/willingness-to-look-to-seek rather than looking to FIND something..,

I can’t be fully present if I enter a conversation or moment with a judgment of how I’m going to be closed off or how I know I’m right and they’re wrong..

Today I am exhausted by the world arguing who is right and who is wrong…
Convinced on every side their way is the only and right way to do things and unless everyone else is exactly as they are and believes, lives, thinks, feels, dreams, moves as they do/want to, they’re somehow lesser or wrong…

Again, embarrassingly enough, this was teenager version of me. I was TOLD and TAUGHT what was right and what was wrong… I was TOLD my friends were damned unless they did, believed, etc. all the same things I was told were the TRUTHS and ONLY WAYS or you’re doomed.

I learned so fast that the quickest way to destroy a friendship and push away people you care about it by telling them how they’re wrong for what they think/feel/believe and unless they believe what I DO and what IS THE TRUTH AND THE ONLY RIGHT WAY that they’re damned forever.

Yeah….. One particular friend I almost lost for good…. he threatened to dip my head into a vat of boiling grease, very detailed and gruesome specifics.
Deep down I believe if he really was motivated that he probably could/would’ve.
And I doubt THAT would cause such violence, but damned if I didn’t deserve that mental and verbal boiling of my head in a vat of grease. THEN I was hurt and offended,… the martyr… “BUT I AM ONLY TRYING TO SAVE HIM WHY DOES HE HATE ME?!”

Fucking idiot and close-minded without understanding there was another way to be.
I took my anger toward my church and how my friends were ostracized and judged by a group who stated they were all loving and accepting but yet pointed and judged and told us who was GETTING IN and who was DAMNED FOR ETERNITY.

Ahem…. excuse me, I’m pretty sure that Book says that HE is the ultimate judge and we are not supposed to cast the first stone unless we are sinless….

I took the stories and lessons I learned and when I was attacked or unjustly blamed for SUSPICION or based on RUMOR, and I was innocent in everything, BOY OH BOY did I drop some jaws back in my late teens. This one time, in my early 20’s.. probably 21 or 22, legal drinking age,… my childhood gal pal came home and we went with all her college buddies to blues fest, as we did every year. I returned to my parents home that night (the blues fest took place in our hometown every fall– still does)… and I was ATTACKED…
“RESA SIT DOWN, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU NEED TO TELL US?”

**sweating bullets completely lost** “I don’t think so?? What is it?”

“WHAT DID YOU DO TONIGHT?”

**still anxious and on alert unsure why I was being attacked with questions in a threatening and accusatory way, almost convinced maybe I DID do something wrong and didn’t realize it?**
“Well, I went to the blues, met up with (insert friend’s name here) and her pals from Hendrix and had a beer or two, watched the band at the grand stand, and here I am.”

“WHAT ELSE?!”

“I’m honestly so lost right now…”

“(INSERT LOCAL HOME-TOWN GOSSIP NAME HERE) TOLD US THEY SAW YOU WITH (X, Y, Z) AND THAT THEY WERE …(smoking weed maybe? Can’t remember)…”

The reason I can’t remember what I was accused of specifically is because I truthfully hadn’t done anything other than exactly what I’d told them. I was ENRAGED when I realized they believed a gossip of false information based on assumptions and judgment alone… and the coolest part of the night was riding in a packed vehicle with all her friends and everyone I think was smoking pot, and I was offered, and my friend said “Nah, she doesn’t do that.” and everyone was cool– I found so much new respect in these friends and my friend too. No judgment or temptation, just cool understanding and acceptance.

Once they (parents) realized maybe I was telling the truth and getting visibly angry, they first pulled the Bible and Jesus stuff and followed up with the “YOU ARE WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH” card, to which I proudly flipped,

“Oh is that right? So Jesus was a prostitute? Hm? With leprosy? A dirty, sinful, diseased, promiscuous….” (you get the point)
“I’m pretty sure he always hung out with the disciples and taught them what he knew, right? He got followers because he hung around the only people who already believed in and followed him, correct? GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT…. I’M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU FOR ASSUMING WITHOUT ASKING ME, AND AM OFFENDED BY YOUR PRESUMPTIONS/ATTACKS AND INSINUATIONS….” Pretty sure I went into how I didn’t trust them or think they believed in or trusted me, ooh it made me so upset.

Jaws dropped, and soon I was the stander and they had taken a seat.
You could’ve heard a pin drop…
Or really it was probably the jaw you were hearing hit the floor. HAHA!

I am all about learning and growing and using lessons and empowering experiences and stories and yearn to learn more about why and how something works well for someone, and EXCITED FOR THEM, eager to learn more and hope to achieve the understanding and acceptance and faith they have, in whatever, whoever, however… it’s the FAITH and the knowing they understand what works for them. I love that. If it’s real to you, and it works, I believe that’s your RIGHT way…

There’s no wrong, in my opinion, the only WRONG is when you aren’t doing what’s RIGHT for YOU… Your RIGHT isn’t always another person’s RIGHT… Your RIGHT may be their WRONG.
THAT’S OKAY!!! You can grow and strengthen and uplift one another and share what is great through action versus promotion or drive them far away from you, and everything you believe, and create a wedge and judge as if you somehow are the almighty higher power who is in control. Think again. I’m speaking on my personal belief and behalf saying that…. Lightening literally struck me to get my attention in seeing OKAY OKAY OKAY I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING TO END UP AND I’M OKAY WITH RELINQUISHING THAT CONTROL THAT I’VE NEVER HAD…

Lightening fucking hurts, guys.

“I guess I’m gonna be a teacher and there’s nothing I can do about it” were the words that came from my mouth instantly before my SPIRITUAL ELECTROCUTION– I MEAN AWAKENING.

LOL. My higher power has a GREAT sense of humor and I’m convinced my genre for my life story is a tragic comedy. It’s too coincidentally shamefully heartbreaking in extremely RANDOM or EXTREME ways…. there’s no gentle nudge in this life– LET’S HIT HER WITH LIGHTENING…
Oh, make sure to add two more times to shock her with lightening strikes too, that’d be hilarious.

TRUMAN SHOW?

Back to my original point in that some accept they know they are where they want to be and satisfied without malice or anything but acceptance and gratitude,
Others think they have THE ANSWER and secretly feel bad for everyone who doesn’t stay on their platform but do so in silence, because that’s apparently what open-minded mindful people do? ((Again, *cringe* that was totally me 10 years ago, no kidding))

“Then there are some of us crazy ones constantly examining angles of possibility and different ways of seeing what can be so many things!  There is no ONE WAY…. And there is no END to POSSIBILITIES. I want to explore and learn and grow…. but only with those who are like-minded enough to explore with me without judging or assuming they know motives when there are none other than learning and self-growth through others and their beliefs, spiritualities, and self-healing on their personal journey. Some people think OMG IF YOU LISTEN AND ARE INTERESTED AND EXPLORING YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING THEY DO AND THAT MEANS….

Fuck what those guys think,… seriously.
You know you, and honestly, if it pushes people like that farther away from you, do more of exactly that, because you don’t need or deserve those toxic people in your life who are constantly judging you and telling you how you’re wrong– they’re right… and these are reasons why…

No way, José. Nobody will ever know YOU as well as YOU get the opportunity to. Don’t waste it, please lort, understand you are the ONLY VERSION OF YOU THAT EXISTS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD… NEVER EVER PRETEND TO BE ANYONE ELSE OR MASK THAT RARE GIFT THE WORLD HAS ONE SHOT AT GETTING TO BENEFIT FROM AND MAKE A BETTER PLACE TO BE! BE YOU.

Surround yourself with the ones who uplift you, empower you, push you towards your goals and dreams, and respect your ideas, beliefs, values, everything– they respect YOU, and all that encompasses that wonderful rare being that only exists as you are once, ever. Now. You’re the only one. How amazing is that!?

Embrace, absorb, grow from others and see DIFFERENCES as the beautiful and amazing MIRACLES that are offered for you to explore. ONE VERSION OF EACH PERSON YOU MEET, and you seriously thought of missing that ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE to connect and grow from the only version of this Being in the world? Seems wasteful, self-centered, and just a SHAME.

Again, back to that idea,… some settle because they are happiest doing so and ready to….
Others think they have THE ANSWER and convince themselves of their open-minds while labeling and pushing out those who aren’t choosing the same.

Right-Now, Right…. that’s the way they’re seeing and embracing their place. Settled in ones understand that it’s said, Right, NOW is Right.

The convinced ones who know they are open-minded above all and have found what they wish the rest of them would find- – idiots… poor pathetic lost fools… ((I’m so enlightened and open-minded and they can’t get to where I am they’re so lost))…. Those guys… They see RIGHT-NOW-RIGHT… The instant gratification in hearing they’re right and that’s right — NOW… they know a little bit… and take and run with it… Now…. They chose right because they picked NOW… we all understand that’s all there is. Why don’t people get it? They’re so lost.

We’re the ones backwards I hear…

Those strange ones who are not going to let you do the instant gratification way– we know and believe in NOW too, but more in like NOW is all I have and all we know for certain in this moment… this moment is real. I’M HERE NOW BESIDE YOU… I’m with you NOW….. coaching and uplifting you as you feel so broken – they hurt with you but won’t let you abandon yourself and will keep you pushing through it, fighting alongside you in the darkness pointing out the light up ahead that you can’t see yet… IT’S THERE, I’M HERE, BUT I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU, YOU’VE GOT TO DO IT, BUT I’LL BE RIGHT HERE BESIDE YOU THE WHOLE WAY.

This is right, now right. (They say- maybe we misspelled it, perhaps the second “right” is actually hinting for self-reflection and actually “write”?

THIS IS RIGHT-NOW. RIGHT. (They are certain they know it’s so true and for everyone and all)

INSTANT GRATIFICATION is what that sounds like to me.

And that is wonderful. There exists in that so many things and possibilities that possess joy and insight… It’s understood how some have no desire, need, or belief in anything further or deeper or more meaningful= this exists as the NOW MOMENT.

Right Now Right is This. … for the message left for those reading backwards. Willing to be bonkers and accepting if no truth surfaces in the dive into deeper waters…

To hold the messages up to the mirror along with our own reflections and examine every angle we can to learn as much as possible in hopes to be the best versions of ourselves for this earth and for others.

Right Now Right Is This….

This MOMENT NOW Exists.

I think I prefer that backwards message over the first, it opens up my mind to want to go farther and deeper into the unknown, 

And for no motive, purpose, or glory, but instead for experience, growth, and self-discovering exploration.  Being comfortable with being uncomfortable and willing to explore this alone and understand before ever showboating or attempting to teach another what is unknown to you.

I use YOU a lot when writing but I think a big chunk of the time I’m interchangeably able to use ME in the same placeholders,… it’s just habit.  Don’t think I’m over here typing this with my finger pointed at ya SCOLDING—- YOU, YOU, YOU…

Pish Posh.

Fish Sauce.

Dish Noss

Wish Boss.

And this is the points in the book that things would get very interesting because delirious thought swarm in and it’s a battle between waking-mind and it being incapable of functioning at full capacity and thus slowing and like a buoy perhaps bobbing ever so gently in and out of the subconscious mind… not to the degree of being able to understand, explore, or comprehend what’s happening, but perhaps, rather, just incapable of comprehension from a waking-mindset, thus experiencing frequent interjections and self-doubt when those WAY TOO LENGTHY EXPLANATIONS surface that made sense like 5 mins Ago but are embarrassing now… or the IDEA OR ANALOGY THAT WAS SO FRIGGIN OUT THERE IT WAS MIND-BLOWINGLY COOL/AMAZING,….except, really you just probably looked like you’re hallucinating or on drugs talking about different planets and being aliens… YEAH, BECAUSE THE PERSON YOU’RE TALKING TO IS TOTALLY HIP AND ON THAT WAVELENGTH… No,… no, I’m sure you’re sounding completely bonkers and they’re thinking you’re on drugs and/or mentally broken down and probably will try to commit you inpatient for treatment.

Holy hell, you know it’s pretty bad when you look up and see this GiANT PARAGRAPH with underlined errors OF who knows what because it’s beyond the point of no return and whatever is written shall remain and exist as is from this point on.  

And I’m pretty sure I am now for whatever reason referring to myself in the FIRST person> Is that right? ? am too tired to be embarrassed enough to be incapable of recalling information from MY MINOR AND ENDORSEMENT OF MY UNDERGRAD DEGREE… sheesh.  Worthless 

And this is what I meant by mindfulness enlightened spiritual positive self-talk guru therapist writing in a delirium,… Curse words and positivity are visibly and crudely shown that all modesty and need for filters —

FILTERS  are not special, unique, or different, and ARE SUDDENLY USELESS AND UNWELCOME

Be real, be in this moment, be grumpy and tired as hell, IF THAT’S WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, 

OR GET THE FUCK OUT.

Nobody wants the bullshit spiritual talks —

Sometimes we have those days…

And sometimes even the therapists who are complimented and accessed for mindfulness, now-centered focus, and positive outlooks are just gonna fucking curse and be gross and that’s okay…

Probably only through writing, in my field, however. 

I’d be fired , I’m fairly confident, if I acted this way in person— especially working at inpatient substance abuse treatment…

That’d totally not look suspicious at all.

On that note, it’s way past my bedtime, and I was a miserable mess at work from not resting last night.

I’ll end with this…

I happened to mention to my friend who is learning more about me and getting closer to me, I shared earlier with him that I wanted to post my writing to my secret-to-people-I-personally-know blog page… and went further to explain WHY I choose to have a public blog completely available to anyone and everyone but choose to NEVER tell anyone about it or share it with people I know personally.

It’s simple really,…

You reading this can actually take and see it for the words that they are,… no bias attached, no judgment, and no knowledge of who I am or relationship with me whatsoever. You, then in fact, can truly get from my writings what I intend… and that’s whatever you need for YOU.

When people who KNOW you read into things they have assumptions and cast judgment, not that they are even meaning to… but that, knowing that in itself that someone is reading this that knows me personally and judges me based on what they THINK they know or how they think I’m meaning to come across or what point I’m making…

No, NO, NO NO NO…

That’s not why I write.

It’s not about anyone, it’s not for anyone, it’s not specific to anything except for me and my moment I’m creating it in.

Stories from my life surface, and again, unless you know me, you can absorb and take and benefit from what you choose to and leave the rest… I prefer this. I don’t want anyone picking up what they think they’re learning or trying to dig into something that isn’t meant for them… If they could read as if it weren’t my writing and be open and without judgment or need to dissect or figure me out, by all means, please read on. Just don’t tell me…. at least not if you want me to continue writing openly, freely, and without filter or fear of any kind.

And if you do tell me,… and you decide to pick apart what isn’t about you…

You’ll find whatever it is you create in your mind to find, I guess.

If you want the juicy personal specifics with names and drama, you’ll first off likely not find much of that– if/when I do write that, I typically torch it. No sense in keeping around negative harmful nonsense or a moment’s resentment that could resurface and really hurt someone in due time. Never an intention of mine, EVER.

This blog is merely a fun and openly free place for me to be ME without fear or need to hold back.

How many years now have I successfully kept this going and secret to all I know personally, yet accessible to the entire globe?

That’s a rush in itself. Maybe this is how Clark Kent felt walking around the city knowing he was visibly invisible.. seen by many but not known or REALLY SEEN by all…. only a select few.

That’s too cheesy and not my style.

HOLY CRAP I THOUGHT I’D JUST DELETED ALL OF THIS AND LOST IT FOREVER.

If I were a superhero I’d prob pick Mystique because I think she’s the coolest creature and so good at not even ever letting you know she exists… it’s only what you know… as you see and know them to be.
Unless you know to look…
and still then you have no clue haha.

But I’ll let you guys vote which of these two last second google image search finds (I do not own or claim these images in any way as my own) and these two were weird and relatable. Which is me? Vote!

Strange I accidentally picked two cat characters, both same colored. I’m a dog-person though typically, although I have had my fair share of feline friends throughout my lifetime. None as close or as important and connected to me as my doggo is though. 12 YEARS GOING STRONG since HE SAVED ME that day at the shelter.

I am so grateful he found me that day. I was lost and never knew it.

Okay I have to go for real. Let me know which secret identity character best fits me based on my writing style or what you don’t know about me/do know.

Until next time, my friends.

Much Love. ❤